I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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