i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
