Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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