Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
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I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
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I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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