Fuck appropriateness.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
