You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
