I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Randomize
