i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
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I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
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It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
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