Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
