This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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