Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
