Someone shit on the floor
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
