I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
