idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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