I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
