Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
