So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
