mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize