The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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