I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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