so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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