he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
