Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
"it" just moved
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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