If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
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She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize