So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
