Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
