Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There r osticjed everywhere
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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