I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
