very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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