I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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