This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
