somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
