I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You need a sexual gate keeper
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
