the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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