o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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