I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just want nice things and good sex
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
wow bdsm is so cute
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
