As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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