their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
