Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
