what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
