OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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