weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
