I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
