Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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