so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
