This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
