The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
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He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
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She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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