Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
