So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
