We won't sleep together?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
