kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
