I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
