just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
