Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
