Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
BRING THE BAGELS
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
