nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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