He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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