Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize